December 18 & 19: Kim Clark

December 19-20: Company for Dinner or Appetites in One Act

Kim Clark

CHARACTERS:

THE GLOBE FAMILY: Mum and identically-dressed girl/boy twins
MARKET: hungry demanding teenage boy twin
INDUSTRY: spoiled demanding teenage girl twin
MUM: frazzled exhausted mother

Company for Dinner or Appetites in One Act

The twins sit at the kitchen table (set for four) with a large tanker-shaped bowl between them. They slouch and fidget while Mum stirs a pot of thick black soup on the stove.

MUM: Company will be here any minute, kids.

MARKET: But I’m hungry now.

INDUSTRY: And I have to get going. I’ve got this and that to do. Who’s going to drive me?

MARKET: Are we really having the same soup again?

MUM: But, Sour Crude is your favourite, Market.

INDUSTRY (snidely): And it’s usually the fastest.

MARKET: Not to mention cheapest.

MUM (stirs faster): It’s what you keep asking for. Now you don’t want it? You two are never happy. Never satisfied.

MARKET: Maybe my taste buds have matured. The smell’s starting to get to me.

INDUSTRY: Me, too. But, it’s all about the company, Market. Gotta impress, y’know.

MUM: And neither of you like the old stand-bys.

MARKET: So old-fashioned.

INDUSTRY: Like pre-historic.

MUM (stirs frantically): And you won’t even try my new recipes.

MARKET: One bite of that solar quiche was more than enough. Way too spicy.

INDUSTRY: And pricey. And those breezy biscuits were like nothing. A bunch of air.
Nothing more.

MARKET: Hot air’s such a bore. So you’re a connoisseur now, Industry? What do you know about anything?

INDUSTRY: More than you know, Market… about everything. Plus, Dipstick, I was born first.

MARKET: That’s total bullshit! I was born first! You wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t opened things up for you. And it’s Dipshit, not Dipstick, soup-hogger.

INDUSTRY: You mindless greedy co-dependant pig!

MARKET: Glutton!

INDUSTRY: Brown-noser!

MARKET: Monomaniac!

INDUSTRY: Ass-kisser!

MUM (screaming, tearing at her hear): Children! Enough! I’m trying to do my best here. Do I need to remind you… that you wouldn’t be here without me?! That you still need me?!

Market and Industry are dumbfounded by the outburst.

MARKET (grumbles): Somebody has to drive me.

Mum quietly sets down her spoon and exits.

INDUSTRY: Nice going. What do we do now?

MARKET: We eat.

INDUSTRY: What about the company?

MARKET: What about Mum?

INDUSTRY: You’re right. Let’s eat.

MARKET: How do we get it from there to here?

INDUSTRY: By the knifeful? Maybe a fork?

MARKET: Too messy. Use your head.

INDUSTRY: Uh, by the head won’t work.

MARKET: Funny.

INDUSTRY: By the spoonful?

MARKET: That’ll take too long.

INDUSTRY (thinks for minute): I know. Bendy straws.

MARKET: That’s ridiculous. It’ll never work.

INDUSTRY: It might. I’ll just join ‘em all together.

MARKET: What if it leaks? Mum’ll have a fit if we have a leak.

INDUSTRY: Or an outright spill.

MARKET: Or a fire.

INDUSTRY: Now you’re being paranoid.

MARKET: Am I? What if there’s, like, a massive earthquake and she blames us for the mess?

INDUSTRY: If there’s an earthquake, it won’t matter anyway. Something smaller, maybe she won’t notice.

Market and Industry look at each other, shake their heads.

MARKET: I’m still hungry. What if we find something else?

INDUSTRY: Magically find something?

MARKET: No, actually look for something.

INDUSTRY: Too hard. Too far. Too complicated.

MARKET: Maybe if the right company ever shows up, they’ll help look.

INDUSTRY: Do we just wait then?

MARKET: I thought you were going somewhere.

INDUSTRY: I don’t really have the energy to go if I have to do without.

Market and Industry look around for inspiration, find none. They shrug.

INDUSTRY and MARKET (call out): Mum! Mum! Mu-um!

Lights down.

END.