December 19-20: Company for Dinner or Appetites in One Act
THE GLOBE FAMILY: Mum and identically-dressed girl/boy twins
MARKET: hungry demanding teenage boy twin
INDUSTRY: spoiled demanding teenage girl twin
MUM: frazzled exhausted mother
Company for Dinner or Appetites in One Act
The twins sit at the kitchen table (set for four) with a large tanker-shaped bowl between them. They slouch and fidget while Mum stirs a pot of thick black soup on the stove.
MUM: Company will be here any minute, kids.
MARKET: But I’m hungry now.
INDUSTRY: And I have to get going. I’ve got this and that to do. Who’s going to drive me?
MARKET: Are we really having the same soup again?
MUM: But, Sour Crude is your favourite, Market.
INDUSTRY (snidely): And it’s usually the fastest.
MARKET: Not to mention cheapest.
MUM (stirs faster): It’s what you keep asking for. Now you don’t want it? You two are never happy. Never satisfied.
MARKET: Maybe my taste buds have matured. The smell’s starting to get to me.
INDUSTRY: Me, too. But, it’s all about the company, Market. Gotta impress, y’know.
MUM: And neither of you like the old stand-bys.
MARKET: So old-fashioned.
INDUSTRY: Like pre-historic.
MUM (stirs frantically): And you won’t even try my new recipes.
MARKET: One bite of that solar quiche was more than enough. Way too spicy.
INDUSTRY: And pricey. And those breezy biscuits were like nothing. A bunch of air.
MARKET: Hot air’s such a bore. So you’re a connoisseur now, Industry? What do you know about anything?
INDUSTRY: More than you know, Market… about everything. Plus, Dipstick, I was born first.
MARKET: That’s total bullshit! I was born first! You wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t opened things up for you. And it’s Dipshit, not Dipstick, soup-hogger.
INDUSTRY: You mindless greedy co-dependant pig!
MUM (screaming, tearing at her hear): Children! Enough! I’m trying to do my best here. Do I need to remind you… that you wouldn’t be here without me?! That you still need me?!
Market and Industry are dumbfounded by the outburst.
MARKET (grumbles): Somebody has to drive me.
Mum quietly sets down her spoon and exits.
INDUSTRY: Nice going. What do we do now?
MARKET: We eat.
INDUSTRY: What about the company?
MARKET: What about Mum?
INDUSTRY: You’re right. Let’s eat.
MARKET: How do we get it from there to here?
INDUSTRY: By the knifeful? Maybe a fork?
MARKET: Too messy. Use your head.
INDUSTRY: Uh, by the head won’t work.
INDUSTRY: By the spoonful?
MARKET: That’ll take too long.
INDUSTRY (thinks for minute): I know. Bendy straws.
MARKET: That’s ridiculous. It’ll never work.
INDUSTRY: It might. I’ll just join ‘em all together.
MARKET: What if it leaks? Mum’ll have a fit if we have a leak.
INDUSTRY: Or an outright spill.
MARKET: Or a fire.
INDUSTRY: Now you’re being paranoid.
MARKET: Am I? What if there’s, like, a massive earthquake and she blames us for the mess?
INDUSTRY: If there’s an earthquake, it won’t matter anyway. Something smaller, maybe she won’t notice.
Market and Industry look at each other, shake their heads.
MARKET: I’m still hungry. What if we find something else?
INDUSTRY: Magically find something?
MARKET: No, actually look for something.
INDUSTRY: Too hard. Too far. Too complicated.
MARKET: Maybe if the right company ever shows up, they’ll help look.
INDUSTRY: Do we just wait then?
MARKET: I thought you were going somewhere.
INDUSTRY: I don’t really have the energy to go if I have to do without.
Market and Industry look around for inspiration, find none. They shrug.
INDUSTRY and MARKET (call out): Mum! Mum! Mu-um!