December 26 & 27: Eve MacGregor

December 26 & 27: Why Colds Are Like Pipelines

Eve MacGregor

CHARACTERS:
Nose
Tissue
Mouth

Why Colds Are Like Pipelines

NOSE: I’m a nose and I’m sore

TISSUE: I’m a tissue and I’m wet

NOSE: I’m leaking

TISSUE: I’m doing my best

NOSE: What colour is the stuff coming out my nose?

TISSUE: Can’t see it but it’s sticky

NOSE: What ever it is I don’t think it’s supposed to be coming out of me

MOUTH: I’m a mouth and, and, ah, ah, [TISSUE jumps in front of MOUTH] AATCHOO!!

TISSUE: That was close. Could you recruit another tissue please? I’m all dark and sticky and I’d like to go to the great crumple pile on the floor

NOSE: you can’t abandon me now, I’ll be lonely. I’m leaky and I’ll be lonely. I’ll be leaky and lonely in the middle of nowhere.

TISSUE: I’m saturated. My clean up ability is imaginary and you’ll just keep leaking until this season has passed.

NOSE: Fine. Whatever. Just go.

TISSUE: I’m sorry

NOSE: Maybe I could get a job. You know, a nose job. [Wanders off]

END.