February 18 & 19: Enemy
The stage is empty but for a chair in the middle and a screen behind that has a small child in an old pink car waving out the window. The picture is static until the last paragraph of the monologue and then it slowly turns into a video and the child waves as the car drives out of sight. A woman walks into the pool of light around the chair and sits down.
Woman: I guess I should start at the beginning…….a very good place to start I understand (small nervous laughter) … anywho…..I know, I get it that I’m guilty, as guilty as ..maybe even more guilty than the ones that I’m, we’re pointing at and saying, you know (in very small voice) ‘Stop’. Stop please’. So this all gets me to thinking how like when I was a kid, you know, church, god, jesus, virgin mary, casting stones thing, as in ‘ye who are without sin casting those rocks at those glass houses’. No wait I’m mixing my metaphors like, they are mixed up, in my head, kind of swirling around in there….swirl, swirl, swirl. Whoosh! Ok no what I really mean is that it’s hard to be…..righteous…when I can see, can’t we all see, where we are as complicit as the dudes who are trying to do this thing that everyone knows is headed for some kind of freaking natural, or I guess, not so natural disaster. I mean, I can say, ‘hey that sounds like a really bad idea and all you want to do is kinda, you know, get richer while killing if not the planet per se, the planet as we know it, and all like the endangered species, of which we are becoming one if only someone, you someones, could see that that was really happening, you know?’ Eventually. In the end-like, where the extinction of everything is gonna happen cause we fucked up – barring of course a huge meteor plummeting to earth and killing all life on earth which is always a possibility apparently although who can live thinking that way you know – we are kinda offing ourselves with all these non-righteous decisions and we, I mean people cause like the other species don’t really get a say which is also kind of not, you know, fair, and yet though we, I mean I , say no don’t do that Mr. and or Ms. Money grubbing oil people, I still, like, live my life like I live it. I mean, I DO recycle, I compost, I don’t use make-up that kills bunnies or anything, or use household products that poison water. I mean of course I do all that. Or of course, I try. Of course I try. ……But see the thing is, what about the stuff that I can’t think of, the cheaper vegetables and fruit that are trucked or flown from way away but that store is easier to get to than the one where stuff is sold from local peeps and I’m tired and it’s raining and it’s February in Vancouver and I have my period, and a cold and my foot hurts? What then? Making this little tiny itsy bitsy decisions every day or once a week or once a month or whenever and what that adds to the whole overall wack a doodle-ness of it all even if I’m just one person with a couple of cats who lives in a condo and really how much can I be responsible for? How much can I be blamed for this thing that is happening even if I’m trying to do something about it even though I feel conflicted? Right? I mean I consort with, you know, the like enemy every day. I consort, here, there and everywhere and maybe the thing is, I am kinda part of the enemy. I mean not a HUGE part. But some part. A part. A small part. I’m it. ……… (video begins) When I was small kid, a very small kid. Thing is I liked, no I loved, getting to go places with my mom alone. She had an old Chrysler, you know those ones with hips and she would load me up and we would zoom around. The world zipped by and it felt like, I don’t know,….I guess if felt like freedom I loved it. I just… loved it.