February 22 & 23: Kim Minkus

February 22 & 23: COORDINATES: Part 3 of a series

Kim Minkus

CHARACTERS:

Kinder: A monster

Morgan: Another monster

COORDINATES: Part 3 of a series, (a bi-polar production)

Kinder and Morgan are walking along the seawall near Olympic Village.

Kinder: How much fish do you eat?

Morgan: I don’t eat fish. I gave it up after all the Kalamazoo incident.

Pointing to each other – snapping fingers and singing:


Kinder & Morgan: A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I’ve got a gal in Kalamazoo
Don’t wanta boast but I know she’s the toast of Kalamazoo
-zoo-zoo-zoo-zoo-zoo

Morgan: I love that song… anyway… Enbridge really screwed that one up. I don’t trust fish anymore. God knows what they’re eating.

Kinder: It’s just that one of our lawyers asked that question at one of those damned National Energy Board hearings and everyone freaked out.

Morgan: Maybe they’re vegans… they can get touchy about that sort of thing.

Kinder: yeah well – we’ve got to keep the NEB on our side. We better be careful about upsetting the vegans.

Morgan: Do you remember grilled chicken with mango salsa? Whatever happened to that? You can’t get mango salsa anywhere anymore.

Kinder: I don’t eat chicken unless I know it’s had a good and happy life.

Morgan: How happy can a chicken be?

Kinder: I’m not sure. It’s kind of hard to tell by their facial expression.

Morgan: Just so you know – you eat the average chicken at two to four months of age. Since the average “happy” chicken lives 10 years – that means you’re eating the chicken when it’s still a child.

Kinder: (silence for about 4 seconds). Don’t compare chicken to children. I don’t eat children.

Morgan: Just sayin…

Kinder: Back to the topic of fish – have you heard about this hydro-electric dam situation?

Morgan: Yeah – where are the protests about that? Nobody cares about water because it’s water. Water has a goody good reputation. Even though trees and animals will drown nobody is going there to set up camps…

Kinder: … I think there was a big thing in Victoria recently.

Morgan: (ignoring Kinder) …we always get picked on. All people think about is that oil is toxic – oil is bad. We may be destroying a few habitats but we’re not drowning animals and trees. It’s ..it’s… barbaric!

Kinder: Can chickens swim?

Morgan: For god’s sake what does that have to do with anything?

Kinder: I just don’t want any of them to drown… particularly given the recent information you told me about them being murdered in their youth.

Morgan: Maybe we can start a new protest that gives water a bad rap. We could have our PR people showing drowning trees and animals. It could take some of the heat off us.

Kinder: OK… as long as no chickens are harmed in the production of the video.

END.