January 17 & 18: COORDINATES: Part 2 of a series
Kinder: A monster
Morgan: Another monster
COORDINATES: Part 2 of a series, (a bi-polar production)
Kinder and Morgan are in an office. They are each at a computer. Their computers are back to back. They are looking at their screens and talking to each other without looking up.
Kinder: We got our coordinates wrong.
Morgan: WE didn’t get them wrong. YOU did.
Kinder: Well I was trying to be a team player but the reality is that it’s your job to do the coordinates not mine.
Morgan: Nooooooo. I did them last time and this time it was your turn.
Kinder: God…did we kill any trees?
Morgan: I think so.
Kinder: Didn’t we arrest people and sue someone? And what about that restaurant? I can’t remember everything clearly. It’s like some horrible nightmare.
Morgan: Remember that previous to your existence was infinite time and space and after your existence is infinite time and space. That should keep things in perspective.
Kinder: (silence for a few seconds). Still… I want people to like me.
Morgan: I guess the trees will be singing to us again. Maybe something like…
So long, farewell auf wiedersehen, adieu.
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu.
Kinder: That’s not funny.
Morgan: Or maybe….The hills are alive with the sound of…
Kinder: ….It’s not a hill. It’s a mountain
Morgan: I hate losing.
Kinder: WE have not lost. Never say that. Never Never Never.
Kinder breaks into tears and throws himself on the keyboard of his computer.
Morgan: OK, but this whole situation is wearing me down.
Kinder: (Wiping his tears then a look suggesting sudden inspiration or hope) I know! I’ll contact our PR people to look after this. They did a great job with the provincial election. They can do the same thing and create a million promotional videos that people can’t escape. Every time they check the weather, watch the news, or access a website they’ll see an ad saying how amazing, kind and generous we are. Everyone will quit hating us! Everyone will love us!
Morgan: Are you off your medication?
Kinder: If I were on medication you wouldn’t exist. You put the bi in my polar.
Morgan: Is that a song?