January 29 & 30: Valerie Laub

January 29 & 30: Tippy Toes or Husha Husha We All Fall Down

Valerie Laub

CHARACTERS:
A, female
B, male

Tippy Toes or Husha Husha We All Fall Down

The idea is that they are on a small high point of land that diminishes in size as the surrounding waters rise. For staging there would be a ring of blue cloth waves around the actors that can be (invisibly) pulled in closer and closer until at the end the actors are in tight and the ‘water’ rises up and eventually rises over their heads.

A: Water.

B: Water? We have water (POINTING TO THE SURROUNDING WAVES)

A: Fresh water. Drinkable water.

B: Now that’s different. I’d say that’s worth 10 points.

A: Ten! It’s worth everything.

B: Yeah, you’re right. Everything to the little lady for a drink of cool, clear….

A:…water.

B: It used to be so simple, abundant.

A: For us, maybe. There were already water refugees.

B: Not anymore.

A: Well there’s nothing anymore.

B: There’s us.

A: Yes, there’s us. (PAUSE) For a little while.

B: Remember when we set the water coming out of the tap on fire?

A: Imagine. Water from a tap.

B: Lost it’s sense of novelty pretty quickly. Setting the water on fire, that is.

A: Sometimes I can’t believe….

B: Hey! Remember floating down the river? That was a ten.

A: Swimming in the lakes. At least a ten.

B: A person could have a shower.

A: A bath.

B: Shave if you wanted to.

A: I never wanted to. But something to eat.

B: Pizza. Deep dish. Oozing with cheese. 20 points.

A: A mango.

B: Mango? A mango??!!! What about a massive hamburger with real beef and all the toppings?

A: Tunafish salad.

B: You’ve got to be kidding.

A: With fresh tomatoes. Red, ripe, juicy. Homegrown. And basil from the garden. 25 points.

B: No, way. Steak, rare. And a beer. THAT’S 25 points.

A: Coq au vin and a bottle of wine.

SILENCE

B: I’d rather have a steak.

THEY BOTH SIGH

A: We’d sit outside on the porch and watch the sunset.

B: Swat mosquitos.

A: Funny, even mosquitos would be a pleasure now.

B: Really?

A: Maybe not. But just the ‘normalcy’ of it.

B: Yeah. (PAUSE) You know what I miss? Cleaning my teeth. Flossing.

A: Brushing my hair.

B: Brushing the dog.

A: Let’s not go there.

B: No. Sorry.

A: Good thing we never had kids. (B GLARES AT A) Sorry.

B: Sleeping in on a Sunday.

A: Up at sunrise. Golden glow rising behind the hills. The welcome warmth.

B: Sunrise you didn’t dread. Sunrise that didn’t burn your eyeballs. 50 points.

A: Sky the color of a coral reef ocean. And at night, in winter, that deep icy blue at dusk.
Full moon you could read by.

B: Hard on the eyes.

A: No, I mean in winter that time we went to the Rockies and the lake was shining and all the mountains gleaming with the light reflecting off the snow. Bright as day.

B: Fantastic.

A: I’d love to go there again.

B: (SILENCE)

A: I know. I’m just saying I’d like to… if we could… if it still existed… if there was winter… snow…

B: Well, all is not lost. I mean, we’re still here. Still alive. Still…. (PAUSE) Eight points?

SILENCE.

A: I don’t think we have much longer.

B: No. Likely not. (PAUSE) Dammit. We should have said no, we should have screamed NO. Marched in the streets.

A: We did.

B: Well then…. What happened?

A: They didn’t listen. They had children and they still didn’t listen. Unfathomable.

B: Power. Money. Greed greed greed.

A: Refused green energy.

B: Oh no! Had to develop the tar sands. Had to ship that oil.

A: No one wanted to face what we were doing to the planet, to Mother Earth.

B: Don’t start with that Mother Earth crap.

A STARES AT B

B: It’s just a rock. A rock spinning in space. Doesn’t have any feelings. (SILENCE) Well it doesn’t. (SILENCE) I mean the Earth won’t miss us humans.

A: Or the cottonwood tree full of birdsong. Crows at dusk winging across the sky. The Earth won’t miss the fish or the dolphins or the whales. Won’t make any difference to the Earth that the polar bear is extinct, that the glaciers have melted, that the oceans are rising, that….

B: Shhh, shhh…. It’s alright. Everything is going to be okay.

A: No it’s not! What is okay? We had the Earth, this beautiful, beautiful planet in our care and we destroyed it. In about 20 minutes, less….

B: Hey, hey… Let’s not fight, not now.

A: (PAUSE) No, let’s not fight.

B: The Earth will go on spinning. We just won’t be here to spin with it.

A: It didn’t have to be this way.

B: No.

A: If only….

B: If only…. (SILENCE) We had a good life, didn’t we?

A NODS

B: Never even fought.

A: Excuse me?

B: Well, the odd disagreement. But never really a fight.

A: No, never a real knock ‘em down dead fisty-cuff fight.

B: Alright, alright. But the thing is, we loved each other.

A: Still do.

THEY ARE VERY CLOSE TOGETHER NOW AND THE WATER HAS RISEN UP TO CHEST LEVEL

B: Why don’t you climb up on my back? I could hold you up higher. A few more minutes.

A: Alone? I don’t want to stay without you.

B: Yeah. I’m such a prince of a fellow.

A: And I am the jewel in your crown.

B: That doesn’t sound very feminist.

A: Oh well. Doesn’t matter now. Look, is that a star?

B: Fancy that. A star!

A WAVE WASHES OVER THEIR HEADS

B: Tippy toes.

A: Tippy toes.

THEY WAVER ON TIPTOES FOR A MOMENT OR TWO. THEY HOLD EACH OTHER CLOSE.

A & B: Husha husha we all fall down.

THEY DISAPPEAR BENEATH THE WAVES.

END.