March 22 & 23: Helena Andrade

March 22 & 23: Portrait of a Petrofamily 2: Teenbots

Helena Andrade

CHARACTERS:

TB: teenage boy
TG: teenage girl

Portrait of a Petrofamily 2: Teenbots

Night. TB and TG are sitting in a car in the vast parking lot of a box store. Or is it a freeway on-ramp?

TG: I calculated the amount of time my dad spends in his car and its something crazy, like 6 weeks of the year.

TB: I’d never waste my life like that. Working 9 to 5.

TG: Me neither.

TB: I’ll never be a corporate slave. I’m travelling as soon as I’m done grade 12. I want to see the world before I decide what to do with my life.

TG: Pass the Coke.

TB: I definitely want to learn another language.

TG: Yeah, that’d be cool. I wouldn’t mind learning Spanish and having an eco-tourism company in Costa Rica.

TB: Cool.

TG: I love this song!

TB: oh yeah! Nikki Minaj!

TG: Have you ever been to Tofino?

TB: No.

TG: We should go.

TB: Now?

TG: Maybe.

TB: Make our escape tonight?

TG: My mom would be pissed.

TB: Mine wouldn’t care.

TG: What about my meds? I have ADHD.

TB: Can’t you get a refill there?

TG: Yeah.

TB: Do you have any money?

TG: A bit.

TB: Cool. Let’s go.

TG: Do you think your mom will miss her car?

TB: No.

TG: Where will we sleep?

TB: In the car if we have to.

TG: Let’s swing by my house first.

TB: Get some blankets.

TG: Holy shit. Freedom. I’m scared. What if it’s boring?

TG’s phone rings.

TG: I gotta answer that. Hey, Jen! We’re in the car eating dinner. What are you doing? It’s due tomorrow? I’ll call you later so we can work on it together. Ciao.

TB: I thought we were going to Tofino.

TG: Oh yeah.

TB: You forgot?

TG: No.

TB: Sometimes being surrounded by plastic and glass freaks me out.

TG: I know what you mean.

TB: It’s like an exoskeleton.

TG: Exactly.

TB: But it’s the most normal thing to have a car. No one ever talks about how strange it is that there’s so many.

TG: Where will they all go when they die?

TB: Probably the bottom of the ocean.

TG: I wonder if we’re fucked as a species.

TB: It’s not just cars that will do us in. Pipelines are the dumbest idea ever. Of course, there’s gonna be spills! I wonder if there’ll ever be a war here.

TG: Drones, dude.

TB: Yeah.

TG: I’m gonna make my escape from this one day. I’ll live in a beautiful forest and build a treehouse. Learn to communicate with plants. Like they did in the days before cars.

TB: No you won’t. You’ll be a teacher and have a couple kids and go camping on weekends.

TG: Fuck you.

END.