March 4 & 5: Job Fair(?)
a dozen EXTRAS from 5 years to 85 years
Onstage, PIPELINE & ENVIRONMENT sit at opposing tables under a big Job Fair sign. The EXTRAS form a snaky line leading from off-stage to ENVIRONMENT’S table. JOHN approaches PIPELINE’S table where there are several stacks of paper (varying in height) and no line-up at all. PIPELINE waves to JOHN, motioning him over.
PIPELINE: Right this way! Right this way!
JOHN: So you have jobs? Real jobs?
PIPELINE (pushes all the paper stacks to the front of the table): Oh, yes! You’ve come to the right place. We have big projects! Thousands of jobs. A hundred thousand to choose from. Just take your pick.
JOHN: You have anything full-time?
PIPELINE: Of course. When do you need this job?
JOHN: Well, right now.
PIPELINE (gives John a massive application booklet): Excellent! Just fill this out.
JOHN (flips through the massive application): This’ll take me years to fill out.
PIPELINE: That’s the point. By the time you fill it out there will be full-time jobs. I promise.
JOHN: But I need a job right now.
PIPELINE (frowns): Well, there are these jobs. Are you foreign?
JOHN: No, I’m Canadian. I’m from BC. I’m even local.
PIPELINE: Oh. How about temporary work, then? I have thousands of those too.
JOHN: Might have to do for now. What have you got?
PIPELINE (searches through stacks, tossing most of the paper over his shoulder and pushing a short stack toward John): Uh, don’t worry. I have all kinds.
JOHN: Like what?
PIPELINE: Mostly induced jobs.
PIPELINE: You know. Secondary. Indirect. Ripple-effect jobs.
JOHN: Like what?
PIPELINE: Oh, retail, tourism, food & beverage. It goes on forever.
JOHN: Don’t those jobs depend on the other jobs? The projects that may or may not happen? It sounds like a pipedream to me. Never mind the whole environmental thing, I can’t afford to believe you.
PIPELINE: I don’t think I like your tone.
JOHN: My tone? I’m just pointing out…
PIPELINE: Don’t make me call security.
JOHN (backs away): You don’t need to call security. See, I’m just back away quietly.
PIPELINE: Security! Security!
John tries to hide in ENVIRONMENT’s line-up as SECURITY GUARD rushes in.
SECURITY GUARD: What happened?!
PIPELINE: He called me a liar! He said terrible things! He THREATENED me!
SECURITY GUARD: Where’d he go?!
PIPELINE: Over there!
SECURITY GUARD (relaxes): Okay then. No worries. Everyone in that line-up or having any association with that line-up gets flagged. We flag all the terrorists automatically, make arrests out of sight.
PIPELINE: Thank gawd!
SECURITY GUARD: You’re very welcome.