March 6 & 7: Kathryn Mockler

March 6 & 7: CANADA AND WORLD

Kathryn Mockler

CHARACTERS:

CANADA
WORLD
BARTENDER

CANADA AND WORLD

Canada and World are sitting on stools having a pint of beer in a local pup.

Canada looks down at his stout and takes a generous sip.

CANADA: I wish we could still smoke in bars. I’m dying for a cigarette.

World is drinking Scotch and has her eye on the hockey game on a TV across the bar.

WORLD: I don’t know how you can watch this stuff.

CANADA: I used be so great. I used to be worthwhile.

WORLD (shakes her head): Actually, you never were that great.

CANADA: That’s not true. I did plenty of good things. Everyone liked me. Everyone put my name on their backpacks.

WORLD: You looked good on paper. But doing terrible things and covering it up isn’t the same as always being good.

Canada puts his head down and starts to cry. Puddles of tears form on the bar top.

The bartender comes by and wipes up Canada’s tears.

BARTENDER (to Canada): Stop that. You’re staining the wood.

CANADA: Nooooo, I used to be somebody. And now I’m a wash up with hives and eczema.

BARTENDER: The problem with you is that you bought into the myth about yourself—which has proven to be a very dangerous thing.

CANADA: But so did everyone else!

WORLD: Yeah, and now they don’t.

END.