October 7 & 8: THE ODD OOZE
THE ODD OOZE
3 oil blobs. dressed in black. costume ideas — black and grey rags, dripping off them. OR connected by a BLACK lycra tube WITH HEADS AND ARMS STICKING OUT. or individual lycra sacs.
they dance on stage as a choo choo train or the bunny hop, a train doing the hop.
SINGING TO THE TUNE OF BRYLCREAM AD OF THE 50’S
123: Oil blobs a little dab will do ya’
Oil blobs you’ll look so debonair
Oil blobs a little dab will do ya’
Just rub a little oil blob in your hair
1: And on your teeth
2: And in your mouth
3: And up your nose
1: And in your lungs
2: And through your liver
1&3: (TALKING SIMULTANEOUSLY) Oh yeah, liver. Excellent. liver.
2: (POINTING TO 1) S/he is Sticky Bitch-u-men
1: (POINTING TO 2) S/he is Sticky Icky Bitch-u-men
3: I am Icky Wicky Bitch-u-men
123: (TUNE OF THE HALLELUJAH CHORUS)
We are Bitch-u-men
ENTER TWO WORKERS, X and Y, IN WHITE LAB COATS AND HARDHATS. THEY CARRY CLIPBOARDS.
THE OIL BLOBS MUTTER AMONG THEMSELVES. THE WORKERS DO NOT HEAR OR SEE THE OIL
1: Oh… cute
2: I like the tall one
3: Wonder what they’re doing up here along our route?
X: I don’t see any leak? Do you smell anything?
Y: I’b got a cold. Do you smell anything?
X: (LOOKS AT Y. PAUSES) I don’t want to say.
Y: Wouldn’t we know it if there was a leak?
(THE OIL BLOBS START TO SURROUND THE WORKERS AND SLOWLY BEGIN TO COVER THEM WITH THEIR BLOBY SELVES)
X: Sure, it would be obvious.
Y: Yeah. Obvious.
X: Like we’d see oil oozing all over the place.
Y: Yeah. Oozing. (OIL IS OOZING AROUND THE WORKER)
X: Do you see oil oozing? (OIL IS OOZING AROUND THE WORKER)
Y: No, no oozing.
SLOWLY, BY THE END OF THE PLAY, THE OIL BLOBS COMPLETELY COVER THE WORKERS
X: And the pressure in the pipe would go down. (CHECKS HIS CLIPBOARD) Hmmmm, the pressure would go down….
Y: Yeah. That’s right. The pressure would go down.
X: The pressure has gone down.
Y: Down? The pressure has gone down?!
Y: A leak! A LEAK! A LEAK!!!! Whaddo we do?
X: Stay calm!
Y: (EXCESSIVELY CALM) Oh, dear me, a leak. Tsk, tsk. Oh well, other than that, the day is perfectly fine.
X GLARES AT Y
Y: What, thinkest thou, that we should do?
X: Well… look for evidence.
X: Yes, like the smell of oil.
Y: I’b got a cold.
X: Or…any oozing?
Y: Oozing… ah, oozing….
X: (DISAPPEARING UNDER THE OIL BLOBS) Yes, oozing. Do you see any oozing?
OIL BLOBS COMPLETELY COVER THE TWO WORKERS
Y: Well, maybe the odd ooze….