Prologue: Plays from The Enpipe Line

Prologue: Plays from the Enpipe Line

The two plays were included in the text of the original Enpipe Line, published in 2012, by Creekstone Press

Can You Staple the Petrostate to a Bill of Return?

Alex Leslie, Christine Leclerc, and Rita Wong

CHARACTERS:

ALEX
CHRISTINE
RITA

Can You Staple the Petrostate to a Bill of Return?

C: What’s that thing called again?

A: A stapler.

R: A Petrostate.

C: I will staple the Petrostate.

R: And I will send it back to the idiots where it came from.

END

* * *

Irresponsible Extraction, We’re Through with You

The Ad Hoc Theatre Company

CHARACTERS:

THE EARTH, person with body covered in gashes, wears coat initially
IRRESPONSIBLE EXTRACTION, a watch-wearing, Tony Robbins type.

Irresponsible Extraction, We’re Through with You

EARTH onstage.

IRRESPONSIBLE EXTRACTION enters.

EARTH: Irresponsible Extraction!

Irresponsible Extraction smiles, as though happy.

EARTH: We need to talk.

IRRESPONSIBLE EXTRACTION: Would love to, babe (checks watch), but I have a meeting.

EARTH: Not again.

IRRESPONSIBLE EXTRACTION: It’s what I do.

EARTH: Enough is enough! I can’t put this off for another minute (removes coat).

IRRESPONSIBLE EXTRACTION: (makes point of not looking at Earth’s gashes.) I know what you’re going to say. (mockingly) Take, take, take, that’s all you ever do. But look, I can’t have this conversation right now. I’m already late for a meeting—

EARTH: —where you plan the next gash.

IRRESPONSIBLE EXTRACTION: You know it’s not like that, Earth. It’s the people. They need me to do this. How else are they going to get energy?

EARTH: Irresponsible, look at me. There are better ways to get what you need. I have wind, wave, and geothermal. And there’s always the sun.

IRRESPONSIBLE EXTRACTION: You make it sound easy.

EARTH: It is. All you have to do is decide. People are talking. They’re talking about how they’re getting sick. They’re talking about how species are disappearing. They’re talking about climate change.

Irresponsible Extraction loosens collar.

EARTH: I can’t believe how long I’ve stood for this abuse.

IRRESPONSIBLE EXTRACTION: You’ll adapt.

Earth rolls eyes.

IRRESPONSIBLE EXTRACTION: Look, here’s some money. Go fund an arts organization, or buy yourself a nice reclamation project.

EARTH: NO.

Irresponsible Extraction forces watch into Earth’s hands.

EARTH: (throws watch at Irresponsible Extraction) I don’t need your cheap knock off to see it’s time to end things with you!

IRRESPONSIBLE EXTRACTION: But you won’t give me a chance to explain. You just come storming in here—

EARTH: You’ve had plenty of chances. Every breath you take is a chance and you’ve had thousands, now get out!

Irresponsible Extraction doesn’t move.

Earth doesn’t move either.

Irresponsible Extraction picks up the watch.

Earth starts clapping.

IRRESPONSIBLE EXTRACTION: Is this a joke?

Earth claps louder.

IRRESPONSIBLE EXTRACTION: My colleagues will hear.

EARTH: I don’t care if your colleagues hear. They’re being clapped offstage too.

Audience joins in.

Irresponsible Extraction exits.

END